28th May reflections!
Today's visit was kinda odd
we were there at 9.30am till 12.30nn, with everyone present.
The p3s were doing something in the library, so we were split up..
dont know who farah, sarah and tuyan taught..
but jean, fenghan and myself taught the upper primary..
& i felt very tired and sad today after teaching 1 of them..
at first, i was teaching a primary 4 guy, called jun hao or smth liddat.
he was unwilling to do, and kept on talking to his 不留名 friend, so we 搬家to another table..
from then on, as long as i remained enthusiastic and encoraging, he was able to finish his work very quickly.
then i moved on to YF. and she was another story altogether.
i had tutored her before, for phoenetics the other time. she had struck me then as a hardworking student who was really poor in english, but willing to work hard to improve.
what i saw today made me think twice. she was doing her maths, and like XY, she wasnt able to do it well because of her poor grasp of english.
when i tutored her, she said she didnt understand the question. so i explained the question to her. by asking her to read each sentence out to me, and explain to me the meaning. she'll claim she didnt know. so i'll translate to chinese for her to understand. and even then, she'll say she didnt know. i felt that she wasnt even willing to think, and was just feigning ignorance to get me to explain to her, and prompt her again and again. this was our typical coversation for every question:
her: jiejie, i dont know how to do this question.
me: okay, read it for me.
her: *reads in stuttering english the entire question*
me: okay, explain to me the first sentence
her: i dunno.
me: *explains in simple english*. understand?
her: 可以说华语吗？
me: err.. if you dont attempt to understand questions in english, how are you going to do your exam paper during the PSLE? i wont be there to translate for you, you know.
her: oh. *struggles really hard to understand in simple english*
after understanding the question, i ask:
me: okay. so how do you set about doing this question?
her: i dont know.
me: you have to try.. imagine this is the psle, how do you do this question?
her: ah. a+b? a x b? a-b? a/b? c+a? *random guesses all the way*
me: nono. it's a+b. *explains it's cause it's 2 roads, and the entire distance travelled is the 2 roads plus together*
her: orh. *copies onto paper*
yeah. and the process repeats FOR EVERY QUESTION, even if the question was EXACTLY THE SAME, just with different values, BUT EVEN WITH THE EXACT SAME DIAGRAM.
and the bad thing is;
if she was a student who wasnt interested and just anyhowanyhow, it'll still be alright, cause i'll think that she's capable of answering the questions.
but she's actually trying very very hard, and yet she still cant do it..
i felt so tired at that point.. and very worried.. if she cant even do simple questions like routes, how on earth is she gonna pass her PSLE? if she indeed improve enough to pass her psle, how is she gonna cope with secondary schoolwork? it's very 心痛 to see her like that too..
so this is how my teachers feel when i do badly.. they must feel super tired, frustrated and kinda helpless too.. i want to work harder and clear my damn bloody exams, clear up my understanding, and make sure i can still do well without them, and stop making them worry.
and then she had this bitchy friend, fenghan's tutee-for-the-day, i forgot her name alr, WHO KEPT CALLING HER STUPID AND TALKING IN CHINESE AND HOKKIEN *FAINTS*
i was tired and so i just let them talk.
in hindsight, i should have asked her to please leave us alone for about an hour, ask her to talk to YF in ENGLISH, and to stop calling YF "bodoh", "stupid", "idiot".
It was obvious YF minded, but she just protested half heatedly, cause everytime she protested, her friend would call her the derogatory term even louder, and 点 her head..
i felt like slapping her and asking her to keep her effing hands off my poor tutee.. *violent tendencies*
i was a bullshit tutor that day and have alot to brush up on..
- my patience
- just cause i feel tired, i should still stay enthusiastic.
- why didnt i stop the bullying?
- just how do i help her??!? (im thinking of firing more questions at her, make her practice and practice and practice until she's familiar with all the terms already.. but do i have the time and resources?)
& seeing her like that has made me more determined than ever that An HAS to do well.. his foundation HAS to be good.. if not he wont do well in the future..
JIAYOU JELLIES! bring your tutees up up up!!
Labels: 5.28.08, beryl
Jelly! wobbled @ Thursday, May 29, 2008
